What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do Next

As you may have noticed, it's been a several weeks since my last post.  Not that I don't have drafts ready to go, but I didn't know what I want to do- or say- next. So I wasn't doing anything. I have a tendency to shut down when I am overwhelmed or don't want to talk about my feelings and these days it's a little of both. Can you relate?

To get you up to speed, things here have been crazy busy in the best way possible!  I'm planning a "Ladies Who Lead" workshop (September 16 and November 18) with the fabulous Kirsty Blattner of BLAT Chat Consulting (so save the date y'all if you are in the Madison area), collaborating on a new online talk show "Corporate Life is Hell" and I started working with several exciting new clients (ambitious women who want to up their game in their careers or businesses). And to top it off, I have a boyfriend (Mr Jackson). Swoon! It's all rainbows and butterflies over here. It's so much more then I thought it would be, in the best way possible. So, yup, I have just a few things going on in my little world (just like everybody else!).

And since I'm all about keeping it real I have to confess there were tears the other day.  Because sometimes it feels like SO much that I don't know what to do or say next and that can be frustrating. I'm pushing past my comfort zone and paralyzed in the moment, worried to make the wrong move. Overwhelmed by my emotions. Scared to head down the wrong road.

So that's why yesterday when I had lunch with my mentor and didn't have my business plan revised (yet again) and he called me on it I felt like I tripped into emotional quicksand and it sucked me down fast.  I hate letting people down (but really I am letting myself down). I felt like sh*t. So what's a girl to do? I wrapped my day early and went boating of course!

So what can you do when you don't know what to do next?

  1. Run, don't walk, to your happy place.  Get in the right frame of mind. Do something, anything, to change your environment or perspective.  Take time to to de-stress and reflect on what is really important to you: your values and how they tie into your life/brand/platform/business. 
  2. Engage your board of directors. Let's be real. We can't go it alone. Who encourages you when you get off track?  Who helps you reflect on who you are and what you want most? Reach out to someone who challenges you to be your best and will encourage you to do more. Listen to your intuition and head the direction your heart tells you to.  If you fail, fail fast and start down the next road right way. What ever you do, keep moving forward.

I caught myself stalling in my business so I am working with a business coach (the fabulous Rebecca Tracy) to help me kick it into high gear (she's a temporary addition to my board of directors).  One of the things we are doing is a mindset rewire.  She had us focus on when we tell ourselves "I can't ___________" and replace it by saying "I don't want to ____________" . It was a telling exercise.

If, when you change your sentence to "I don't want to" and you really DO want to you could rephrase it to "I will do ___________ by _____________". Be specific and schedule it right into your calendar. Don't let it gather dust on your to-do list.

What are you telling yourself you can't do? Why?

I was shocked when I realized the story I am telling myself is:  I can't grow my business and be in a successful relationship.   That's hard for me to admit because it feels like I need to pick between the two and I don't want to. And I won't. (I'd gander a guess as to why that's my mindset but this is coaching not therapy). Just because my business is important to me doesn't mean I can't also have a great relationship too especially since Mr Jackson is mega supportive.  Coincidentally he rides the entrepreneur roller coaster too so he gets it and gets me. I'm a lucky lady!

Life is rarely all or nothing. 

I just need to work through feeling pushed past my comfort zone in both my personal and professional life, a first for me. And getting emotionally squeezed is why I felt like I didn't know what to do next. It was hard to understand my feelings because I didn't know why I was feeling so overwhelmed because really I have everything I want- but more importantly- everything I need. And yes, that is scary too. Everything is failing into place.

What do you do when you are stuck? How do you create work and life on your terms? Please comment below. We'd love to hear from you!

Posted on June 11, 2015 .